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Mothering can take over every part of your life. You are never alone! You have to put little people first, over and over again. Once they start talking, they never stop. They drain your energy and take every brain cell you thought you had. However, the most important thing that I have had to learn is to be a daughter first and a mother second.
I was recently reminded of this lesson through one of my children.
My second child finds it particularly hard to cope with what he refers to as his “bad days”. When my children do something wrong, I am keen to tell them that they are forgiven and loved and that we can move on and learn from whatever mishap has just happened.
However, despite this, my second eldest finds it difficult to let go of the guilt after doing something wrong and so we will often end up talking it over again throughout the day, and sometimes he carries the guilt all the way up to bedtime.
In these moments, I reassure him that there is nothing he could do that would stop me loving him and that every time he does something wrong and comes to me to say sorry, he is immediately and completely forgiven, as if he never did that thing in the first place.
I was chatting to my husband the other night, after such a day, and realised that I, like my own son, carry around with me a similar sense of unworthiness. My husband playfully asked me to remember what I say to our children in this situation. As I spoke it out it was like I properly heard it for the first time: “there is nothing I could do that would stop God loving me and every time I do something wrong, and go to Him to say sorry, I am immediately and completely forgiven”. Wow.
Through my own children, I have learned the importance of remembering that I am Gods daughter before I am a mummy. When I forget how loved I am, everything else, subtly but profoundly, starts to fall apart.
Being a mummy has given me a new and life changing look into how God feels about me.
As a mummy I feel protective; I feel love like I never imagined possible; I want to delight my kids; I want to be their source of comfort and meet their needs; I take a huge amount of joy in their sheer presence and absolutely love making life beautiful for them! That is a glimpse into how God feels about ME! And it’s how he feels about you too.
Before doing any of his ministry Jesus heard these words from his dad:
“This is my son who I dearly love and who brings me great joy” – before we go any further, have you heard these words for yourself? You are Gods daughter; he dearly loves you and you bring him great joy.
Two things that have helped me to be a daughter first…
1. Spend time with God first. I am an early riser. I love the time I get to myself before kids jump on me. I use this time to pray and read Gods word. I also journal any verses that stand out to me, write down any prayers I am praying and a few highlights from my day. These journals have been uplifting and encouraging every time I look back on them.
2. I aim to bring God into all parts of our day. We study the bible as a family, we explore nature and talk about how God made it all. I speak about grace and forgiveness when things go wrong (this happens a lot!). We try to learn scripture together. We are never alone. God is always there so I don’t want to live my days ignoring him!
I am thankful to my heaven daddy (as we often refer to God around here!) that I get to show my kids through example how to be a child of God. I often get out of this great habit and the day’s troubles takes over, but the great news is that I can start over at any point in any day and bring things back to my creator and best friend. Just breathe and start again!